Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.