My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.