I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.