First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise