My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.