I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk