Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.