Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.