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So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
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