I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.