Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (248)

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.

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  (248): David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed. http://tfl.nu/8lak
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  How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?

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  (248): How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break? http://tfl.nu/c6en
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  its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in

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  (248): its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in http://tfl.nu/50v1
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  He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.

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  (248): He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall. http://tfl.nu/m004
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  I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.

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  (248): I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom. http://tfl.nu/9ssn
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  We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.

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  (248): We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on. http://tfl.nu/3utl
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  I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer

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  (248): I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer http://tfl.nu/yuzp
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  Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.

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  (248): Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it. http://tfl.nu/f0ca
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  I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo

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  (248): I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo http://tfl.nu/bfzl
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  Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.

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  (248): Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds. http://tfl.nu/tb7m
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  We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.

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  (248): We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom. http://tfl.nu/ik6d
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  When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?

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  (248): When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle? http://tfl.nu/70g5
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  His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....

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  (248): His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice.... http://tfl.nu/0jbe
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  The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk

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  (248): The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk http://tfl.nu/s1mo
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  He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.

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  (248): He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it. http://tfl.nu/f1b3
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