How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon