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Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
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