He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again