Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.