Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dating After Heartbreak
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW