Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.