That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.