If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take