You made eat vitamins until I threw up
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat