My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.