The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...