New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper