It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
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There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
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you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.