you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever