shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.