she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair