We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
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I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
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Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time