No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.