Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (951)

Last Night in California (951)

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Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.

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(951): Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already. http://tfl.nu/bhvw

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His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format

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(951): His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format http://tfl.nu/g7e8

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I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.

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(951): I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them. http://tfl.nu/loif

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Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants

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(951): Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants http://tfl.nu/uwlg

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what is college for if not random hookup sex?

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learning.

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i would literally fuck learning if i could.

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(209): what is college for if not random hookup sex? (951): learning. (209): i would literally fuck learning if i could. http://tfl.nu/3rtk

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Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.

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(951): Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other. http://tfl.nu/32su

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As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it

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(951): As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it http://tfl.nu/zufl

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Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.

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(951): Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out. http://tfl.nu/nz84

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better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???

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(951): better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life??? http://tfl.nu/fjyx

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I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?

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(951): I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right? http://tfl.nu/4fsw

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can you blow me for old times sake

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only for old times sake

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(760): can you blow me for old times sake (951): only for old times sake http://tfl.nu/ab6d

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She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.

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(951): She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer. http://tfl.nu/6dwb

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There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.

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(951): There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS. http://tfl.nu/ppbc

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i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..

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u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!

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i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u

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(661): i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break.. (951): u hav a 3 hour lunch break?! (661): i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u http://tfl.nu/1ary

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so let's talk penis.

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(951): so let's talk penis. http://tfl.nu/oygv

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Last Night in California (951)

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