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Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
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