did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
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So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
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I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?