Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wisconsin (920)

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.

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  (920): He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me. http://tfl.nu/y4m9
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  I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat

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  (920): I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat http://tfl.nu/rpn1
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  Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.

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  (920): Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/df8w
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  dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down

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  wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?

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  (414): dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down (920): wtf? who are you bitching about me to now? http://tfl.nu/k0ih
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  its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice

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  (920): its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice http://tfl.nu/sbu6
  Replies (16) Good night (4558) Bad night (1270) Order T-Shirt
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  I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.

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  (920): I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign. http://tfl.nu/97x1
  Replies (12) Good night (454) Bad night (1221) Order T-Shirt
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  Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?

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  (920): Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices? http://tfl.nu/95d8
  Replies (8) Good night (2951) Bad night (1195)
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  this is something i pride myself on being below average for

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  (920): this is something i pride myself on being below average for http://tfl.nu/tsy8
  Replies (7) Good night (2435) Bad night (1171) Order T-Shirt
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  He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.

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  (920): He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car. http://tfl.nu/srqw
  Replies (38) Good night (10935) Bad night (1145) Order T-Shirt
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  there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?

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  (920): there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room? http://tfl.nu/s38b
  Replies (8) Good night (437) Bad night (1103)
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  Now he's lighting his socks on fire

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  (920): Now he's lighting his socks on fire http://tfl.nu/p3kv
  Replies (9) Good night (2648) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
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  i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.

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  (920): i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel. http://tfl.nu/bqxg
  Replies (26) Good night (12723) Bad night (1064) Order T-Shirt
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  good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.

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  (920): good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs. http://tfl.nu/xjrr
  Replies (37) Good night (3532) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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  Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.

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  (920): Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling. http://tfl.nu/jjpj
  Replies (33) Good night (2240) Bad night (1025)
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  dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  he wasn't. neither were you.

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  (920): dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss? (1-920): no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom? (920): he wasn't. neither were you. http://tfl.nu/3ltg
  Replies (16) Good night (6901) Bad night (1024)