am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
