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That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
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