Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wisconsin (920)

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.

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  (920): That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake. http://tfl.nu/1ph6
  Replies (6) Good night (880) Bad night (2116) Order T-Shirt
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  Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.

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  (920): Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit. http://tfl.nu/du3n
  Replies (1) Good night (976) Bad night (2076) Order T-Shirt
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  Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool

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  (920): Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool http://tfl.nu/i9nx
  Replies (10) Good night (735) Bad night (2023) Order T-Shirt
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  I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.

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  (920): I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night. http://tfl.nu/zpas
  Replies (11) Good night (3685) Bad night (2017) Order T-Shirt
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  Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...

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  (920): Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around... http://tfl.nu/q37r
  Replies (4) Good night (3008) Bad night (2014) Order T-Shirt
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  False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..

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  (920): False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over.. http://tfl.nu/vzuj
  Replies (6) Good night (965) Bad night (1999) Order T-Shirt
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  I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?

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  (920): I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer? http://tfl.nu/t39o
  Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (1985) Order T-Shirt
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  You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".

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  (920): You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby". http://tfl.nu/mh0h
  Replies (2) Good night (1025) Bad night (1977) Order T-Shirt
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  I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.

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  (920): I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice. http://tfl.nu/yj17
  Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (1880) Order T-Shirt
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  I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.

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  (920): I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with. http://tfl.nu/q53z
  Replies (29) Good night (1356) Bad night (1771)
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  we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!

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  (920): we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?! http://tfl.nu/3ixp
  Replies (14) Good night (375) Bad night (1690) Order T-Shirt
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  Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.

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  (920): Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets. http://tfl.nu/3ocj
  Replies (12) Good night (714) Bad night (1612) Order T-Shirt
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  She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.

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  (920): She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off. http://tfl.nu/r6m3
  Replies (12) Good night (4219) Bad night (1542) Order T-Shirt
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  Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better

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  (920): Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better http://tfl.nu/nui9
  Replies (5) Good night (472) Bad night (1484) Order T-Shirt
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  Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.

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  (920): Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/df8w
  Replies (3) Good night (367) Bad night (1331) Order T-Shirt