I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?