found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?