You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious