i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.