Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (786)

Last Night in Florida (786)

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I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.

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(786): I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction. http://tfl.nu/2rxz

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my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao

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(786): my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao http://tfl.nu/rabe

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Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic

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(786): Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic http://tfl.nu/fwzo

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I don't even know why I got my vag waxed

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Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.

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(305): I don't even know why I got my vag waxed (786): Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed. http://tfl.nu/dtgr

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I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.

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(786): I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying. http://tfl.nu/xg19

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i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.

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(786): i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot. http://tfl.nu/tkrk

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I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.

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(786): I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS. http://tfl.nu/52c3

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Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?

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(786): Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful? http://tfl.nu/pwsi

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you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.

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(786): you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat. http://tfl.nu/8z2x

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Can I come over?

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Can't... I'm at class right now.

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No your not

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I'm outside by your car.

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(305): Can I come over? (786): Can't... I'm at class right now. (305): No your not (305): I'm outside by your car. http://tfl.nu/le7d

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If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok

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(786): If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok http://tfl.nu/pfjn

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hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!

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(786): hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth! http://tfl.nu/9piv

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He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way

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(786): He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way http://tfl.nu/nq2f

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She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick

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I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.

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(786): She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick (305): I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius. http://tfl.nu/szcg

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hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.

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(786): hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night. http://tfl.nu/2z1d

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Last Night in Florida (786)

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