I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
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I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
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If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way