Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?