Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
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I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
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can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee