Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (778)

Last Night in British Columbia (778)

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Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'

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(778): Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world' http://tfl.nu/vm9t

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You're perfectly engineered for doggy style

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(778): You're perfectly engineered for doggy style http://tfl.nu/minq

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I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy

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(778): I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy http://tfl.nu/o3jf

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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..

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i'll start checking the bushes on campus.

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(778): so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually.. (250): i'll start checking the bushes on campus. http://tfl.nu/j3zu

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I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

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(778): I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter. http://tfl.nu/71jn

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tonight, alcohol would be proud of us

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(778): tonight, alcohol would be proud of us http://tfl.nu/7h3d

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Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?

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(778): Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail? http://tfl.nu/fzou

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Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.

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(778): Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them. http://tfl.nu/fuhs

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I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college

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(778): I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college http://tfl.nu/2nnj

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Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?

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(778): Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter? http://tfl.nu/1qb1

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No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.

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(778): No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do. http://tfl.nu/1xvv

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I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.

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(778): I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/znuq

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When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.

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(778): When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back. http://tfl.nu/pu4u

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Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?

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(778): Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight? http://tfl.nu/8s8e

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You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it

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(778): You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it http://tfl.nu/gf74

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Last Night in British Columbia (778)

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