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I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
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