HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.