At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
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My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.