driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?