His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm like, not good at living.
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Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.