But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.