In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.