Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (716)

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  (716): View more from New York

  I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately

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  (716): I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately http://tfl.nu/htr3
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  Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases

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  (716): Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases http://tfl.nu/lpic
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  I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.

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  (716): I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina. http://tfl.nu/pbex
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  my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?

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  (716): my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in? http://tfl.nu/3561
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  i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.

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  (716): i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious. http://tfl.nu/pkcy
  Replies (5) Good night (1993) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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  It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.

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  (716): It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point. http://tfl.nu/9jn6
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  do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth

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  (716): do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth http://tfl.nu/ncht
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  There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair

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  (716): There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair http://tfl.nu/dbyu
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  Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?

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  (716): Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country? http://tfl.nu/yu48
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  Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?

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  (716): Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate? http://tfl.nu/244l
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  im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis

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  (716): im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis http://tfl.nu/d4eh
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  I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.

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  (716): I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here. http://tfl.nu/pkc7
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  I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.

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  (716): I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward. http://tfl.nu/2euk
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  I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious

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  (716): I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious http://tfl.nu/9ib6
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  Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.

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  (716): Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door. http://tfl.nu/u06r
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