Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.