Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.