My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
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Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.