I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.