Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night