It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving