I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
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I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
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Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.