I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
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I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
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Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.