Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.