Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
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Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
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The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There is a Children’s Book About Donald Trump’s Hair, and it’s as Weird as You’d Expect It to Be