Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...