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Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
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