You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere