Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.