Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised