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Last Night in Ohio (614)

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If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.

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(614): If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health. http://tfl.nu/8ftn

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Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night

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(614): Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night http://tfl.nu/qw5j

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They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.

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(614): They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor. http://tfl.nu/swbu

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He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.

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(614): He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/hs4h

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Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday

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(614): Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday http://tfl.nu/2snx

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Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.

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(614): Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel. http://tfl.nu/hpfu

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We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.

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(614): We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid. http://tfl.nu/h4jz

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You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.

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(614): You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you. http://tfl.nu/0odh

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My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.

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(614): My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet. http://tfl.nu/omff

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He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help

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(614): He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help http://tfl.nu/0uoq

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making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy

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(614): making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy http://tfl.nu/o6e5

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Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.

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(614): Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified. http://tfl.nu/iywq

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Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.

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(614): Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this. http://tfl.nu/rk1o

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Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left

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(614): Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left http://tfl.nu/4sdk

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just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible

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(614): just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible http://tfl.nu/tr7j

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Last Night in Ohio (614)

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