THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.