Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Hampshire (603)

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.

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  (603): Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die. http://tfl.nu/bcpb
  Replies (4) Good night (409) Bad night (1885) Order T-Shirt
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  to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.

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  (603): to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald. http://tfl.nu/pb1j
  Replies (4) Good night (1970) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"

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  (603): My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage" http://tfl.nu/888s
  Replies (2) Good night (1535) Bad night (377)
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  More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified

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  (603): More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified http://tfl.nu/si7g
  Replies (5) Good night (1304) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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  He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.

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  (603): He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing. http://tfl.nu/abhc
  Replies (3) Good night (455) Bad night (1209)
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  I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.

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  (603): I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression. http://tfl.nu/ii3j
  Replies (7) Good night (1222) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.

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  (603): what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back. http://tfl.nu/v7kr
  Replies (4) Good night (415) Bad night (1432) Order T-Shirt
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  Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.

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  (603): Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No. http://tfl.nu/243w
  Replies (15) Good night (1946) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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  I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.

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  (603): I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin. http://tfl.nu/suqz
  Replies (2) Good night (1383) Bad night (381)
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  whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.

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  (603): whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card. http://tfl.nu/d7h9
  Replies (6) Good night (2395) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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  Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?

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  (603): Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support? http://tfl.nu/jl5q
  Replies (7) Good night (452) Bad night (1487) Order T-Shirt
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  Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.

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  (603): Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket. http://tfl.nu/e8ax
  Replies (4) Good night (1726) Bad night (378) Order T-Shirt
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  how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!

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  (603): how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?! http://tfl.nu/d9ja
  Replies (8) Good night (705) Bad night (1258) Order T-Shirt
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  Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.

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  (603): Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight. http://tfl.nu/r24v
  Replies (16) Good night (1759) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
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  I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.

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  (603): I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob. http://tfl.nu/3ajr
  Replies (5) Good night (1442) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt