ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration