Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.