after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless