You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom