We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day