My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i permit you to call me