Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i permit you to call me